sábado, 4 de octubre de 2008

Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero

Tál vez todos conocerán esto solo por las dos primeras palábras de la frase del título:


"Aprovecha el día, no confíes en
mañana"

Hoy hubo una situación en particular y que me marca constantemente la época en que vivo. Fue la fiesta del pueblo, el "cumpleaños" de mi pueblo. Fui donde se festejaba y hacían shows y juegos para chicos. Creo que sabiendo lo que me iba a encontrar, va, creo, no, sabía de antemano pero hace días que pienso en que si no lo enfrento no lo supero. Fui, estuve con amigos y pasamos un buen momento. Pasado un tiempo encuentro a quien realmente, no es que no quería encontrar, al contrario, cada vez que la veo me atrae y me cuesta actuar como si no estuviese, me sigue llamando la atención y gustando verla, es solo que ahora me da.. dolor. Luego veo al hijo (que ya lo había visto antes) y quiero ir a saludarlo. Veo a ella también. Ningún saludo, ni de mi parte porque se me trabó la lengua, ja, y de la otra parte tampoco. A veces quisiera meterme en su cabeza y ver que piensa en esos momentos, si esta deseando que desaparezca o le hable, si quiere que me quede porque todavía "le gusto". Fue corta mi estadía, beso y abrazo a este chiquito hermoso, y me tuve que ir..

Y lo que siguió fue difícil. Me agarró ese no se que viste, y quería otro aire. Todo esto me vuelve a confirmar mis sentimientos.. y que si va a ser siempre así tengo que seguir intentando al menos poder sonreír.

Volví de donde me había ido, del lugar de festejo y movimiento, y con un poco de seriedad y tristeza, me "motivaban" para ponerme a pavear, y bailar, reír. Te sigue dando vuelta la cabeza, alrededor de miles de pensamientos.

No termine mal el día, pensaba en que hasta cierto punto puedo esquivarlo y que tengo que ponerme bien a esos momentos. No terminé mal, no quería que con ese marco de diversión, tenga que estar negando a la alegría un momento más. Cuesta, y sólo es la primera vez. Hoy gané, espero seguir haciendolo.

Hoy me dije "Carpe diem" y saludé a la gente que quise saludar con media sonrisa, pero sonrisa al fin.

SHALOM

31 comentarios:

jesse dijo...

dá!!
el momento de panico y verdad no?
grrrrrrrrh!!
cuando me tocó a mi ..enfrentar eso..fue algo..extraño, no sabia si irme o quedarme, llego me saludo como a todos los demas..que estabamos en la barra, se sentó y empezo a bociferar pendejadas... que nunca habia escuchado de su boca, supongo que fue resultado de cierto nerviosismo...o..es un pendejo..en fin...ese fue la aparicion en publico de los dos pero por lados separados.

Te cuento que consulté con una persona ciertas cosas que me inquietaban, y el resultado me agradó y me consolo.
Me siento mas ligera, resignada, nostalgica pero con un aire de alegria., todo tiene un curso y un motivo, y quiero que todo esto me llebe a aguas tranquilas, algun dia encontraré todo lo que quiero.

hu!! me puse feliz!
tambien las 2 tazas de café ayudan

a todo esto...¿porque tramposaa??

hahahaha

un beso grande!!!
cuidate!!

y esfuerzate porqe..tu sonrisa salga completa y más que nada..real.

un beso chiquillo lindo!!

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Muchas gracias por venir a saludar! Jeje, ahora paso por el tuyo.
Es lo que hay que lograr no?
Hoy me dijeron algo que me hizo liberarme un poco más. Pero como cuesta desaferrarse cuando todo está perdido y todavía lo seguís queriendo.

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hola
que incomoda es esa situación, que doloroso descrubrirse sintiendo, otra vez en esos sentimientos.

No sé espero que puedas seguir con tu vida desde un buen lugar.

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